


Regarding Friendship...and Space Hamsters

by ro_shepard



Series: The Misadventures of Rosario Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Budding Love, F/M, Friendship, Memories, Moving On, Please Don't Leave Me Alone With Miranda, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 07:15:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7159124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ro_shepard/pseuds/ro_shepard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shortly after saving Kolyat from a terrible mistake, Shepard and Thane reflect on their growing friendship and Thane's painful past. Shepard also finds time to acquire a new friend.</p><p>There are plenty of in-game quotes in this story that have been slightly altered to better suit my series' canon/AU timeline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Shepard paced in the small, dark corridor between the elevator and her personal quarters. She was thinking about _him_ again. She found herself thinking about the agile, green assassin more and more with each passing day. It had only been recently when Shepard's subconscious had made a move on the reclusive drell.

_"Shepard, I appreciate these chats we have,"  Thane had stated, out of the blue._

_"You're lonely, Thane," Shepard had returned, politely trying to comfort a member of her team._

She would have been just as polite to anyone else, right? She tried to convince herself, continuing her pacing.

_"Work fulfilled me. Reading. I barley spoke to anyone outside of my family. It seems there will be no one to mourn me when I die. You're the only friend I've made in ten years," the drell had confessed._

His raw honesty had taken her off guard. She had been surprised at being referred to as a friend by the skilled assassin. She had also been a little excited. At the time, Shepard had enjoyed their chats as well - learning about the intricacies of the drell species had become one of her favorite pastimes. Granted, Shepard visited with all of her crew, even considering some of them friends, herself. But Thane?

_Shepard smiled before she left, her subconscious spoke what she would never rationally say, "Friend, huh? That's a start."_

Shepard groaned from the memory and leaned back against the cold wall. She had no idea where that had come from as silly crushes, or anything romantic in nature, really wasn't her strong point. Stupid. It had been stupid. She had expected a polite denial of her abrupt advance, but it never came. Instead, Thane either purposely, or unintentionally huffed in shocked amusement, volleying her advance back to her in his usual, enigmatic way.

_"A start? That's... intriguing...."_

In that slightly awkward moment, they both had acknowledged a new, mutual friendship and had both stood at the door to the possibility of something else.

What was she doing? She had asked herself that question at least a hundred times. Thane was a family man, still affected by the loss of his wife, endlessly trying to atone for the blood on his hands. He had also reconnected with his estranged son mere days ago.  _He needs space._ Shepard had rationalized. He needed time to process the emotional reunion. She hadn't bothered Thane since, but in all honesty, Shepard missed the drell's company. She walked over to summon the elevator. She would do a brief check in because after all, friends didn't let friends go through trials alone. Shepard pressed the button for Deck 3.

* * *

 

The life support doors opened up to Shepard and she carefully walked into the quiet space with a makeshift tea tray. Thane Krios was seated in his usual spot at the small table, only this time, he was fiddling with a datapad.

"Shepard," he stated upon her arrival, " do you need something?"

"Hey. Do you have a few minutes to talk? I brought tea," Shepard asked, standing off to the side.

 Thane turned slightly, looking over his shoulder. The slightest of smiles touched his lips by her gesture. "Of course, Shepard." He watched her closely as she mindfully set the tray down and seated herself.

"It's been a little while," Thane observed, eyeing the commander with interest. "I'm glad that you stopped by."

Shepard nodded to him, "Sorry, Thane. I figured you'd want some time to process everything. That was a pretty emotional reunion." Shepard reached for her mug and took a sip. "How have you been holding up?"

"I guess as well as any father trying to rebuild a relationship with his son." Thane reached for the other cup. "This task seems far more challenging than facing the Collectors," he said it in jest. His eyes became solemn and drifted down to his mug. "I never explained... I suppose the story of my wife's death took you by surprise."

"You've talked a lot about your people, but not much about yourself. But, I'm not all that surprised that you had a family." Truthfully, after helping Thane with Kolyat, she had become extremely curious about Thane the father and of the woman who turned an assassin into a family man.

"It's not that I didn't trust you, Shepard, to talk about myself. I'm not used to trusting anyone. Especially, since Irikah was killed." Thane stood up, suddenly, and started to pace behind the table. "That memory that I mentioned before:  _Laser dot trembles on the target's skull. The smell of spice on the spring wind. Sunset eyes defiant in the scope._ That was Irikah. That was how I met her. She saw my targeting laser as she walked by and threw herself in the way."

Shepard raised her eyebrows in shock as the drell returned to his seat. "I guess she impressed you?"

"She woke me up. _Her body trembles. Not fear, indignation. Her mouth moves, 'how dare you!'_ You and I trained to sacrifice ourselves to save others. How often does a civilian step in the way of a bullet to protect someone they've never met?" Thane sighed, "I thought she was the goddess Arashu. She met my eyes through the scope and my purpose faltered."

Shepard noted the vulnerable emotion in the drell's usually-even voice. This was clearly difficult for Thane to talk about, but with being socially isolated for so long, she knew that he needed to confront his past. "What happened to her? When you talked to Kolyat, you said that she died."

"I let myself become complacent," Thane confessed, "I thought Irikah and Kolyat were safe. I tried to keep my work clear from my home life, but I stayed away too long and my enemies came for her." He lowered his head and fidgeted with his mug.

"Who came for her?" Shepard instinctively asked.

"Batarians," Thane responded, "a slaver ring that was preying on hanar outer colonies. I'd killed their leaders. They paid the shadow broker to find out who I was. But, they were afraid of me, so they went after her."

Shepard sat quietly, her face saddened.

"My body hunted her killers. Murdered them," Thane continued, referencing his beliefs of how the body and the soul could act on their own accord, "I was taught to grant death quickly, cleanly. To minimize suffering. Them... I let them linger."

The weight was crushing the man in front of her and had been for a long time. Shepard  wanted nothing more than to reach out a comforting hand, but she did not. She searched for comforting words instead, "Your body did, Thane, not your soul. You were operating on instinct. By your own rules, you can't blame yourself."

"But, I made the choice to hunt them," Thane returned, "they're the only lives that I've ever taken of my own choice. The only deaths on my own conscience." The drell closed his eyes. "Irikah was my first love. We were young and perhaps I was foolish to think that I could have such things with my... profession, but I did love her. I atone for her. For exposing her to my dark world. She deserved better."

Shepard's dark brown eyes roamed over the drell's face - a face filled with painful reflection. "Thane, I know you've been carrying this for a long time, but how long will you continue to punish and isolate yourself? I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that Irikah would not have wanted a life full of loneliness and death for you, Thane. She pulled you out of it once," Shepard hesitated slightly as Thane's onyx gaze fell upon her. She continued, "Don't you think she'd want you to have moments of happiness again? To live?"

Thane sat quietly, considering Shepard's words. Irikah would have wanted those things for him, but did he deserve them? After a while, Thane hummed, "I haven't spoken about my wife in... I don't think I ever have. I didn't have anyone left to share her memory with."

"You have Kolyat now. He needs you and you need him. You also have me." Shepard gave him a caring look, "Maybe I haven't been as up front as I should be. I'm here for you, Thane. Whatever you need. You don't have to be alone."

Thane was taken aback, "You... you are very kind. Thank you for listening, Siha," Thane said, the moniker slipping out on its own. He contemplated for a moment, realizing that he had used a name that he hadn't spoken in a very long time. He quieted.

Shepard looked slightly confused. "I'm sorry, my translator must have glitched. What did you call me?"

" _Siha_ ," Thane repeated. He wouldn't deny it or lie to the commander, but he did need to meditate on this... circumstance. He folded his hands into his familiar, meditative pose and gave a small polite grin to the woman before him, "One day, I'll tell you what it means."

Despite the polite gesture, Shepard noticed a bit of concern on the drell's face. She nodded, accepting the deferral. They finished their tea in silence, listening to the soothing hum of the Normandy's core.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Thane awoke from his sleep - it was still  early ship time, but it was not unusual for the assassin to be awake at this hour. He sat up, stretching his lean form and pulled on a loose, black linen shirt. He quietly made his way to the still vacant mess area and prepared his morning breakfast. It always consisted of a dark green, smoothie-like substance, full of nutrients that supported his rapid drell metabolism. He made his way back to his station and began to flip through the news headlines on his datapad.

Thane's thoughts drifted to the commander. _Shepard_. Their talk last night had taken on a personal note that he had not anticipated. And yet, it had lightened him to discuss his family. He had held his emotions in for so long. Shepard had been so considerate, so _caring_. He was grateful for her kindness.

Thane finished the green slush. He could understand how the young commander could draw so many to her cause. She was indeed a siha with the compassion of Arashu herself. The second siha to enter his life with an extended hand. Why his gods would choose him worthy of meeting another siha, Thane would never know. Perhaps, with the remaining time he had, the gods saw fit to grant him a chance to be a father, an honorable warrior, and a friend.

The drell stared out at the hypnotic lights of the main drive, his thoughts centering on the new path his gods had presented.

* * *

 

"Alright everyone," Shepard began, addressing her team in the mess. She held her cup of morning tea in one hand and a datapad and the other. "We'll be docked at the Citadel for a few hours so you're welcome to take some leave. I have a personal errand that I need to take care of, but I'll also be looking at some shielding mods if anyone's interested in tagging along."

"She's getting more fish," Garrus whispered to Tali, who laughed, as did Kelly Chambers who, on more than one occasion, had seen the commander's poor fish floating lifelessly - starved to death.

Shepard made a face at the turian and continued, "Just be back within five hours so we can head out for some mining - we're low on eezo."

Everyone groaned except for Mordin. 

"Mining. Good, good. Need more samples for tests. Biotic upgrades," Mordin chimed excitedly.

Shepard smiled at the scientist, "That's the spirit, Mordin." She looked over the rest of the ground team, "Any questions?" There were none. "Dismissed," Shepard finished, gulping down the rest of her tea and heading for the sink.

"Commander?"

Shepard recognized the voice of the pretentious Cerberus operative. "Miranda?" she responded, rinsing out her mug and putting it aside. "Something I can do for you?"

Miranda Lawson shook her head, "No Shepard. I would like to take a look at some shielding mods as well. I have a few suggestions."

The commander nodded, "Alright Miranda. I'll be at the docking bay in twenty."

Miranda nodded and headed off.

"Now _that_ should be exciting," Garrus murmured sarcastically.

"Are you coming along too, Garrus, or are you going to make me suffer alone?"

The turian shook his head, "I'm not saving your ass this time, Shepard. I actually have to meet up with an old contact of mine about Sidonis." 

Shepard frowned slightly, "Do you need me to come with you, Garrus?"

"No, I'll be fine. Tali will be back up. We're also going to pick up some dextrose-friendly food."

"Well just ping me if you need me," Shepard replied, noticing Thane standing off to the side.

Garrus nodded, pulling up his omni as he walked away.

"Thane? Were you interested in shielding mods too?" Shepard asked, turning his way. _Please don't leave me alone with Miranda._

Thane shook his head, "No. Captain Bailey has agreed to a visit with Kolyat. But, I'd be happy to accompany you and Ms. Lawson at least part of the way."

Shepard smiled, despite knowing that she'd  be alone with Miranda, "That's wonderful, Thane. I hope it goes well for you."

"Thank you Shepard. As do I."

"I'll stop by later to see how things went," Shepard offered. Thane inclined his head to her.

"Are you heading for the elevator? We could share a lift," Shepard suggested.

"Uh...no, not yet. I am meeting with Dr. Chakwas, but I will meet you and Ms. Lawson at the designated time," the drell informed. He bowed slightly and departed from her company.

Shepard's omni pinged with a new message and her face lit up with excitement. It was from Citadel Souvenirs. Her special request was ready for pickup.

* * *

Thane stood at attention in the C-Sec office, observing the daily grind occurring around him. Captain Bailey was due to arrive at any moment, along with his recently reacquainted son. Officially, Kolyat was still in C-Sec custody after his failed assassination attempt, but the human captain had agreed to work on securing community service detail instead. That was in thanks to Shepard, who had now saved both Thane's own life and the life of his son. It was a debt that could never be repaid.

"Mr. Krios," Bailey called as he emerged from a corner room, "Kolyat's ready for you. We should have all the paperwork squared away sometime next week for his probation."

Thane walked over to the captain and shook his hand, "You have my utmost gratitude, Captain."

Bailey nodded, "He's a good kid. I think he'll be all right. He's right in here." The captain stepped out of the way. "I can give you an hour."

Thane nodded his understanding and entered the small, bare, interrogation room. "Hello Kolyat," the older drell greeted, taking a seat at the table.

"Father," Kolyat acknowledged. His voice was still icy in tone, "I wasn't expecting to see you again... at least so soon." The younger drell crossed his arms. It had only been about a week ago that his estranged father re-entered his life after ten years. A week was not enough time to process all of the emotions that Kolyat had buried as a youth: anger, sadness, despair, loneliness. For ten years, he carried the loss of both his parents and now... now suddenly the source of his pain decided to return.

Thane gave his son a caring look. "I said that I would visit you at every chance, Kolyat. I know you are still angry with me, I cannot blame you. I... I just wanted the best for you, a chance at a good life, away from my enemies."

Kolyat scoffed, "And now's an okay time to reunite? I thought you were working for that human now? Aren't there still enemies to worry about? Who was she anyway?"

Thane blinked both sets of eyelids. He'd have to be mindful of his tone, "That _human_ is Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre, and yes, I am currently working for her."

"Doing what?"

"We are... there have been a number of human colonies that have been attacked, the colonist themselves, taken. We are in pursuit of those responsible."

Kolyat's eyes narrowed, "So what does saving humans have to do with you showing up the other day? After ten years?"

Thane shifted in his seat, "I had asked the commander for help locating you, once I learned of your... plans. She is... influential and innovative at finding solutions in difficult situations," answered Thane.

"So, she's doing you personal favors? Is there anything else happening between you two?" Kolyat raised an accusatory eyeridge.

Thane looked down, "I do consider the commander a friend. She has saved both of our lives. For that I can never repay her."

The room fell silent.

Kolyat uncrossed his arms. "Mom always set a plate for you. Even when she knew you wouldn't be there. She always wanted to be ready whenever you'd come back home."

Thane lifted his eyes to meet his son's. "I loved your mother very much. She... she was the one who taught me how to love. When she was killed, I thought I'd become incapable of emotionally caring for others again." Thane began to think of the commander. He firmly concentrated on his words, "But, I have found that is not true. You are my son and I love you. You are the only part of your mother that physically remains. In time, I hope that you will forgive me. If not, I would understand."

There was more silence.

The younger drell looked away. "How long do you have left?" he asked quietly.

"The doctors have said that I have eight to twelve months left of relatively good health. After that,"  Thane closed his eyes, "after that I don't know."

"Did Mom know about your condition?" Kolyat asked.

"No, I was diagnosed a few years after her passing."

"Good. I mean... I don't know if she could... she would have worried even more."

Thane knew that his son was right. Irikah would have worried herself sick.

Father and son continued to piece together a conversation and, before Thane was ready, there came a rasp at the door. 

Captain Bailey peered into the room. "It's time," he informed.

Thane rose from his seat, "I will visit again when I can, son. Until then, I will write you."

Kolyat nodded to him, wordlessly.

"What type of service will he be assigned, Captain?" Thane asked as the two men walked toward the reception area.

"That hasn't been determined yet. I'll have him shadow a few of my team to see if he shines in any particular area," Bailey responded.

"My thanks again Captain Bailey," Thane said, shaking the human's hand.

"See you soon," the captain replied, sitting at his console.

Thane exited for the nearest rapid transport station. He thought about Shepard again. He  hoped that she had survived her outing, Ms. Lawson too.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Wait, _this_ was your errand?" Garrus inquired.

Shepard nodded.

Tali squealed with excitement, "Oh, it's so cute, Shepard! Where did you get it?"

"Citadel Souvenirs," Shepard replied.

Garrus leaned down for a closer look, "What is it exactly, Shepard?"

Grunt added his opinion, "It looks like food. Bite-sized."

"It's not food, Grunt," Shepard said, protectively. "It's a space hamster."

"A what?" the turian asked, tapping on the glass box. The furry creature squeaked and ran into its shelter.

"A hamster," Shepard repeated. "It's a small mammal from Earth - in the rodent family. Humans keep them as pets."

Garrus gave his friend a confused look. Tali did too, but no one could tell.

"Humans keep these as pets? They are small and weak. Do you not have varren on your homeworld?" asked Grunt, unimpressed.

"We have dogs - canines that humans keep as pets and companions, but a ship is no place for a dog. It wouldn't be fair," Shepard stated, beaming at her new little friend.

There were more confused looks.

"Anyway," Shepard continued, "this is Filbert, the newest member of the Normandy crew. I'll keep him with me, but I just wanted to share a piece of Earth with you all." Shepard gathered up the cage, then headed for the elevator.

"Bye, Filbert," Tali said with a wave.

"And, good luck," Garrus added wryly.

* * *

Thane could not help the quaint smile that pulled on his lips as he heard the life support doors slide open.

"Do you have a few minutes to talk?" Shepard asked.

"Of course, Shepard, join me," Thane greeted.

"I've been thinking about you," Shepard said, sitting in her usual seat.

"And, I you," the drell returned.

"So how'd it go with Kolyat today?"

"Well... We're speaking, so, I guess that is more than I could ask for. I must follow Kolyat's lead on this and, as humans tend to say, hope for the best."

"Did Bailey say anything about his release?"

Thane straightened,  "Captain Bailey mentioned the completion of Kolyat's probation paperwork next week. He's still unsure of the type of service or duration."

Shepard stated the obvious, "He's a lucky kid and Bailey's a good guy. Seems like we made a new friend in C-Sec."

Thane nodded in agreement, "Indeed." His onyx eyes gazed curiously at the commander as he considered his next statement, "We talked about Irikah, of course, and of my illness but, he was also curious about you and our mission."

"Oh? Well, I can understand. If some crazy lady randomly clocked me across the face, I'd want to know more about her too," retorted Shepard.

"He wanted to know if we were involved."

"Oh..." _Oh_. Shepard caught Thane's meaning. She blushed slightly and probably even a little more when she noticed the drell's piercing look. Shepard awkwardly placed her hands on the table. 

"I told him that despite my working for you on this mission, that I did consider you to be a friend," Thane said, still quietly observing the strange ways that humans displayed... embarrassment? It was endearing, as was the slight smile that she tried to hide. "Will you hear a confession, Shepard?" Thane asked. 

"Of course, Thane," Shepard replied, her curiosity peaked.

"When I married Irikah, the hanar let me leave their service to raise a family. But, I had no other skills, so I freelanced. As you know, when Irikah was killed, I pursued those responsible. Once I eliminated them, I had no goal. I accepted the Dantius Commission because I didn't know what else to do."

Shepard's face became more serious, "It's lucky that we met when we did."

Thane shook his head, "Luck had nothing to do with our encounter, Shepard. It was an intervention by the gods. I would have died in that penthouse." Thane placed his hands on the table as well. "I would have fulfilled my contract. If Nassana's guards caught me afterwards, it would have been a good death. But, someone else was pushing to reach the target. Forcing me to move faster. Challenging me. I had to reach her first."

The commander frowned, "I didn't know you had planned to die in there."

The drell lowered his eyes for a moment and then looked back up to the woman in front of him. He took her in... the worried look in her dark eyes, her round face, the dark, spiraled hair that was always pulled back, her light brown skin with speckles of darker pigmentation, her full lips... Thane blinked both sets of eyelids as he made note of this observance in his memory. It was as if he was seeing Shepard for the first time. He had never been attracted to humans before, but it was at that moment, he realized that the commander was... beautiful.

"But," Thane began again, "but then I met another siha. Few are privileged to meet even one."

_There was that word again._  Shepard thought to herself she raised an eyebrow, "You still haven't told me what that means."

The drell nodded, still not ready to divulge, "I will, but not today."

"I could always look it up you know."

"You won't," Thane said, matter-of-factly. He noted the bewilderment in the woman's eyes as they held his.

Thane's hands reached out toward Shepard's. The gesture was hesitant at first, the slightest touch of scales to skin. He noted how small Shepard's were, compared to his. Her skin was unimaginably soft.

"I confess, Shepard, I've come to care for you," his voice rumbled softly.

Shepard took a deep breath, her body suddenly warming at the drell's touch. She looked down at the slender, green hand that was now embracing her own. She was quite surprised by how smooth his scales were. Shepard knew that she did fancy the drell. But, she was also scared. Soldiers and romance didn't exactly mix. She had learned that - the hard way. Yet, she did not pull her hand away. Shepard looked up to find the assassin gazing intensely at her.

"I... I care for you too, Thane, though I don't think we know each other well enough to call it love. But, I feel something for you too - something more than friendship." That part was true. Whatever she was feeling for Thane was different than what she felt for any of her other male friends.

Thane blinked and tilted his head, "I've never felt affection for another species before. I'm... I'm not sure what to do now."

Shepard shared the drell's apprehension. "I guess we'll just have to figure it out."

Thane's fingers lightly caressed the back of the commander's hand. He regarded her with fascinated eyes, "I look forward to the memories."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
